She’s staring into space again, I wave my hand in front of her eyes but there is no response. I sit there, watching, waiting for it to pass. It never takes long but it feels like a life time.
They’ve been going all morning, the hand jerks have started now too, it’s going to be a long day. The frustration boils in my blood, it’s not her fault but I can’t help it, I get annoyed for her as well as at her. She better have taken her tablets on time last night!
She’s finally come back around, so I tell her to sit down and take 5 minutes, she doesn’t listen, she never does. Maybe if she saw it all happening, she’d understand my concern. I shake my head in resignation and go back to getting Oscar dressed.
I shouldn’t have let her carry on, I always make this mistake, so does she. I pull Oscar tightly to my chest as he starts to cry from fear, he always does when his mama has a big seizure.
Her eyes are rolling to the back of her head and her eye lids flickering, yellow foam and dribble is started to cascade down her chin, I have to move her into the recovery position so she doesn’t choke. Her arms, legs and whole body are shaking violently, reaching out in jagged, uncontrollable movements of pain. I cross my fingers that she doesn’t wet herself this time, I know she is embarrassed by it, even in front of me (her fiancé).
She will ache when she comes around, and feel like she’s just ran a marathon. Once I’ve checked she is okay, I will leave her to sleep for as long as she needs, well wants, she never stays in bed for long she gets bored 😐. When she eventually makes her way down the stairs, normally on her bum for safety, she will curl up on the sofa with a blanket, even in the summer as her body is so cold after seizures.
I’ll take care of her for the rest of the day then, I don’t mind, not really, because I love her. Even with her Epilepsy.