Seizures are the easiest part of Epilepsy, sounds a bit silly considering they are the whole basis of it, but during a seizure I’m not conscious and have no recollection of what has just happened. I don’t even remember physically having a seizure, its only because of the after effects and Richard telling me, that I know about them. When I come round, I feel like perhaps I had just nodded off and that is why I seem to have a blank moment. If it weren’t for the other effects I would be able to talk myself into believing that.
How can I describe the after effects?
You know when you go for a night out, and get drunk? Your head goes all funny and everything starts to feel like a dream. The stage before you are drunk and you begin to loose your grip on reality. That is what Myoclonics are like, you don’t quite feel as though its you doing the things you are doing and you have temporary blank spots where you can’t recall how you got to where you are. The memory is the same too. The day after, when you cant quite remember what happened, what you did, but there are these random little snippets trying to escape the cage they’ve been locked in. No matter how much you try, unless someone tells you, you never remember exactly what happened or make any sense of those insignificant bits you do. Those few moments, because that is all it takes, are moments of your life you will never get back, and never remember. It’s a scary thought but unless the seizures become controlled, there is nothing that can be done to stop it.
My main medication is Keppra – I’ve been on it for the past 2 and a half years and it hasn’t really had much impact on my seizures to date. The side effect possibility list is endless –
- Sleepiness ✔
- Tiredness ✔
- Dizziness ✔
- Convulsion ✔
- Headache ✔
- Impaired coordinated movements (ataxia)
- Involuntary trembling
- Loss of memory & forgetfulness ✔
- Loss of concentration ✔
- Hostility or aggression ✔
- Nervousness or irritability
- Abdominal pain
- Diarrhoea & vomiting
- Loss of appetite (anorexia)
- Weight increase ✔
- Vertigo ✔
- Muscle pain
- Cough (increase of pre-existing cough)
As you can see the list is long and quite a few of them have made an appearance in my life. Seizures are, without doubt, the easiest part of having Epilepsy. And Grand Mals (the big well known seizures) are much easier to have then the Myoclonic ones, in my case anyway. For me if I have a Grand Mal, I will be exhausted and out of it for the rest of the day, but I tend to only have one or two seizures, where as Myoclonics I have all day and they cause extreme headaches and eye ache due to eye rolling and the inability to do ANYTHING all day.
If I could choose, I’d choose the Grand Mals over the Myoclonics any day of the week.
“You don’t look like you have Epilepsy”
Oh, well I’m sorry, what should I look like then? This is one of the most annoying statements I’ve ever heard and doesn’t even warrant a reply. How can some with a brain focused disability have a specific look.
Anyway rant over.
Have a nice day everyone.