epilepsy · Living with Epilepsy · Seizure · The seizure queen

University

I started my first year of University September last year, studying English and Creative writing. I had been looking forward to it from the moment I applied and when I was offered an unconditional offer (I already had my A level grades), I was ecstatic.

Oscar was in Crèche, on campus, 5 days a week. Richard and I had different days in lectures to one another, so took it in turn taking Oscar in and doing house work at home.

I started off really well, hardly missing any lectures, getting work done at home, but by the end of my first semester it got a lot harder. My seizures got much worse and more regular, most likely caused by stress and tiredness (despite not feeling either of them). I pushed through uni until Christmas, hoping the break would be enough to de stress and give me a boost of energy again.

I was wrong, they were still there, if not more vengeful. Day after day after day they punched me, dropped me, beat me up physically and mentally. Again and again and again Richard was forced to pay for the bus to take Oscar into crèche on MY days. I missed lecture after lecture after lecture. To the point where I had missed so many of certain ones, I felt lost when I did go in.

I not only miss lectures, but I’m unable to even do my course work on the laptop or read the slides from that day. It got harder with each passing day and with each misbehaving seizure.

Now, days like today (Myos all day, a pink cheek from a bust up with myself and a killer migraine), I force myself to go in. I can’t not, or I will be lost again. There are certain days I physically cannot make it in and those days are the worst, but it seems, even my good days aren’t good anymore.

Everyday I sit full of exhaustion, sadness, hatred and annoyance because of this disability, but I push myself on, secretly longing for a reasonable time to call bed time.Β 

2 thoughts on “University

  1. I can remember having a rough time with seizures during university and it was mainly down to stress for me. I found talking to my lecturers was very helpful and they were hugely supportive. My uni also provided helpers who would sit at lectures whether you could attend or not, and type up the whole lecture and send it to you so you wouldn’t miss anything from class. Does your uni provide anything like this for you? Hope you’re feeling better soon πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. All my lecturers are pretty good with it, but I’ve not heard of anyone who could come and type the lecture for me. I’ve found aswell if I’m laying handing on course work (say due to a week of seizures and not being able to go on the computer) I would need evidence to be allowed an exception so I wasn’t called at 40 !!!
      The only evidence they will accept is a hospital letter (won’t get one if I don’t go in) or a video (I don’t want to be recorded having seizures!)
      I was appalled by this information.

      Like

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