epilepsy · Living with Epilepsy · Seizure · The seizure queen · Uncategorized

No ones fault but mine

This post will be quite long, but it’s a fun little read with a moral at the end. ๐Ÿ™‚ย 

As you may have read, I have had a Gremlin and man child free few days. The man child came home yesterday afternoon and the Gremlin comes home tomorrow.

Naturally, I planned a few things to do, keep myself occupied and have some company.

Thursday was movie night. My friend from uni came over and from 5pm to 4:30am ๐Ÿ˜ฑ, we watched films. I’ve never watched so many in one night before – only four – it was a great night in. We had Pepsi (because we are so cool) and dominos pizza. We chatted animatedly throughout all films, I had never been so happy to finally find someone who talks through films just like me ๐Ÿ˜‚. We got through ‘We are the Millers’,ย one of the funniest comedies ever, it is such a laid back, fun film full of amazing actors including Jennifer Anniston. Next, we watchedย ‘Warcraft’.ย Richard brought me this DVD for Christmas and I finally got round to watching it. It hasn’t had the best reviews, but I really enjoyed it. It was full of action straight from the off, and even though there was a hint of romance it was little and didn’t take over the fantasy film. However, the CGI could have done with some work, it did look very fake but it worked on the most part. The Wolves though, were just awful. If you are going to watch this film, expect a massive cliff hanger. It is not a war film that start near the end of the war and you see the success. It is the story as it would happen, it starts at the very beginning with the orcs entering the other world.

Now, we were kind of feeling the darker vibe after that so watched ‘red riding hood’ย with Amanda Seyfried, it wasn’t long before we both remembered why we had never watched it again after the first time. It is such a nothingy film. It doesn’t go anywhere and is just plain pointless and rubbish. I wa forgetting what just happened as it was happening. Because of this downer we finished out night on an old rom com I had when I was about 13 years old.ย ‘Ella Enchanted’ย with the fantastic Anne Hathaway in it. I love this film, it’s such a light hearted happy film – a clear remake at Cinderella. It was a nice way to end the night, laughing and chatting with a bit of magic coming from the TV.

I was surprised the next morning when my seizures didn’t play up, but I wasn’t going to complain. I eventually made my way downstairs and after Elly had left got myself ready for my next Gremlin free adventure.

I caught the bus into Cardiff and met Richard, who had just caught the train back, before we went to Frankie and Bennies for some food. It may not have been quite as good as if we had planned to go for food, but it was nice to do something with him, just him and no O. It didn’t last long, before I gave him a kiss goodbye and met up with my friend Alex. Tonight, we were hitting the town.

We got ready at hers with a glass of wine (she was Gremlin free too, so it was perfect), before heading to out first stop – some cocktail bar in Cardiff city centre. I can’t remember it’s name but they had an amazing deal on that night. A glass of prosecco for ยฃ5 (their usual price) or the whole bottle for ยฃ13.50. Obviously, we got the bottle. We sat and drank, chatted, laughed and had a lovely time. We got to know more about each other and got on well. It wasn’t long until the first bottle was finished so we went to get another one – the deal was no longer on ๐Ÿ˜ญ, but it did entice us to get a cocktail. Mine was too fruity and hers was too bitter. By this point we had bumped into her boyfriend who later joined us.

Next stop on the list was ‘Las Iguanas’. This is where we started getting more wild ๐Ÿ˜œ. We got another cocktail each (2 for 1 on the same cocktail), which was delicious, and we got a shot. This shot was not like one I had seen before, we had 3 separate glasses. One with coffee liquor followed by the vodka shot (๐Ÿ˜ท) and then a shot of espresso. When we went to sit down, bearing in mind we were already a bit tipsy by now, there wasn’t an awful lot of seating, all of which were full apart from the small bar stool tables. However at the end of the room was a big mirror which deceived us, making it look like the room went on for longer and there were empty seats. All I can say is, I was glad Alex was in the front or my face would have connected with that mirror. ๐Ÿ˜‚

Last stop was Metros night club. It was an underground club, which was surprisingly quite but that meant you weren’t shoving and pushing. First stop was the bouncer – our first ID check of the night. Now, I was definitely tipsy, but Alex was beyond. She made the bouncer try and guess her age (who thought she was 19 ๐Ÿ˜ฑ Hahah try adding a few years), when we were paying she was saying all sorts of random rubbish to the poor lady – she even told her I had Epilepsy.

“I have to look after her because she has Epilepsy, don’t worry not the lights though” – I didn’t have the heart to tell her lights still effect those without photosensitive E. I’m old enough and ugly enough to make my own choices.

We went to the loo before heading into the club, where I ended up holding shut a toilet door (a certain someone forget she needed to shut it), I felt like I was back in high school when you had those doors with massive gaps at the top and bottom and you used to hold it shut for your friend with your foot, because we were apparently incapable of locking a door back then. I needed the loo too but waited until the room emptied and made sure the door stayed pulled too, that’s when the signing started from her cubicle. ๐Ÿ˜‚ Metros plays the type of music you’d expect to hear on ‘Kerrang’ – 30 seconds to mars, all American rejects etc etc.

We spent the rest of the night there drinking shots, jagger bombs and double Malibu and cokes. We danced too as, let’s face it, we were well past being sober by now. Alex’s boyfriend joined us at some point in the night with 2 of his mates.

I noticed, the strangest thing with strobe lights though, it is like seeing everything around me in flip book motion. Strange. We finally made our way home at 3:30 am becaus of me, it was like suddenly being hit by a massive wave of dizziness and sickness.

As you can imagine, it was a hangover this morning but I didn’t mind that. It was the after effects of, quite possibly, my biggest grand Mal seizure to date. I’ve spent all of today sleeping and wrapped up. The coldness literally seeped into my bones and core and doesn’t want to be evicted. I have been physically shivering all day and it’s just awful – but, I have no one to blame but myself. Safe to say, Richard was annoyed and didn’t hold an awful lot of sympathy for me but he still looked after me.

Maybe next time I’ll not have 3 late nights in a row, and I’ll be more sensible with my drinks. It may be an awful day today, but I have had an amazing 2 nights with amazing friends.

I may feel like I’ve been hit by a bus today but I’d definitely do it all over again.

Moral of the story – I still need to live my life and be me. Just because I have Epilepsy it doesn’t mean I’m not human and can’t be the fullest version of myself I can be.


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